Not Enough

May 2

I have a job. Yet, I am not qualified enough. I am handsome/beautiful. Yet, I am not “good looking” enough. I am smart. Yet, I am not intelligent enough. I am talented. Yet, I am not skilled enough. I am a good person. Yet, I am not good enough. I know I am enough. Yet, somehow, I am not enough.

The world is an interesting place. Not because we are the one-of-a-kind, unique exception to rule of the billions of uninhabitable planets in our universe. In this regard, we are fortunate. However, when it comes to how we view one another in our everyday lives, we choose to see each other as not enough. It’s as if the world expects to see perfection but they fail to understand that perfection is not attainable, unless our definition of “perfect” is redefined.

This is something that I have struggled to understand. I have come across people too many times judging themselves as, “not enough” of something (ex. pretty, strong, handsome, kind, smart, talented). And their critiques of themselves is a direct result of the critique of those around them. Sometimes the people who try to define as “not enough” of something are the closest ones to us.

Can you think of a relative, a best friend, a teacher, or your boss belittling your current state of being; the moment in your life in which you are now? It’s as if your characteristics, traits, qualities, or personality don’t match up to their definition of perfection, therefore, you are, quote, “not enough.”

I would like to personally say from experience that any moment you feel “not enough” of something, just know that it’s okay! You are not meant to be perfect. None of us are. That is where perfection comes from. The idea that perfection lies in the imperfect nature of our being… of our very existence.

Fortunately, I have been lucky enough to have people believe that I am “enough” in many regards. But, this is simply by what they see; what they experience by interacting with me. The aspects of me that they do not see is where I fail to meet their standards. It’s as if they set a standard that I have to try to match up to or I am “not enough.” And I can’t say how many times people have made me feel inadequate because the standards that were set for me, not by me, I could not achieve. This can apply to anything from body image to self-confidence, athleticism, academics, relationships, or careers.

We are not math problems where an equation results in the same answer all the time, every single time, without failure. Maybe this mathematical approach would be perfection by definition. But not in our relative experience. So, lets not judge others by their current states. If they are “not enough” by your standards, maybe they will be later on. Who says we can’t develop ourselves? And if they are not enough by your standards, who says you are one to judge? The way I see it, if we can judge another by their “lack of” something, we can be judged by someone else by our “lack of” something. None of us have all that it takes to be by definition, enough.

And that is enough.